fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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