The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I will be naked everywhere
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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