they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My penis needs a shock collar
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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