So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
