that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
