Don't you send me to vm
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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