Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?

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  (321): Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting? http://tfl.nu/dyqe
  Replies (4) Good night (738) Bad night (1191)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  ...this stays between you and me

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  (508): so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear (401): ...this stays between you and me http://tfl.nu/qjou
  Replies (6) Good night (1180) Bad night (2273)
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  (760): View more from California

  i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.

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  (760): i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel. http://tfl.nu/n5cq
  Replies (177) Good night (5233) Bad night (5062)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please

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  (202): im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please http://tfl.nu/aagw
  Replies (29) Good night (4479) Bad night (1682)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.

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  (+44): he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway. http://tfl.nu/6dio
  Replies (8) Good night (2898) Bad night (855)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?

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  (970): Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms? http://tfl.nu/dduo
  Replies (4) Good night (2836) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.

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  (517): After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders. http://tfl.nu/u1xt
  Replies (19) Good night (3112) Bad night (873)
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  (562): View more from California

  as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.

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  (562): as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment. http://tfl.nu/n398
  Replies (13) Good night (2000) Bad night (782)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying

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  (250): I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying http://tfl.nu/ewgt
  Replies (10) Good night (2424) Bad night (782)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"

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  (617): I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night" http://tfl.nu/srds
  Replies (3) Good night (1324) Bad night (814)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.

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  (636): It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked. http://tfl.nu/8md6
  Replies (15) Good night (1346) Bad night (645)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.

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  (484): dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow. http://tfl.nu/dkso
  Replies (7) Good night (1432) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.

  (512): View more from Texas

  That would explain all the random shit in my room...

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  (979): Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty. (512): That would explain all the random shit in my room... http://tfl.nu/75zy
  Replies (2) Good night (1827) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.

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  (575): Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them. http://tfl.nu/kglo
  Replies (7) Good night (589) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We've made things harder for ourselves

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  The struggle will be part of the fun

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  (604): I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest (604): We've made things harder for ourselves (778): The struggle will be part of the fun http://tfl.nu/kjb3
  Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (391)

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