Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

they had a keg party to fund her abortion.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.

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(330): View more from Ohio

...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

...i wondered where i left that...

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(303): View more from Colorado

His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.

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(716): View more from New York

I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober

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(303): View more from Colorado

The Easter dress struggle is real

(206): View more from Washington

Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.

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(941): View more from Florida

I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.

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