If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."