Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(231): View more from Michigan

using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.

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(253): View more from Washington

drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house

(713): View more from Texas

So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol

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(805): View more from California

Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.

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