who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills