She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
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I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
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