You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.