I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
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Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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