I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
