remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
