She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
