i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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