my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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