tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize