looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize