You're a womanizer and a bitch.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize