Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
