I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
