Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
