I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
