I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
