Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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