She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
