drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
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When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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