soooo we both peed the bed last night...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You were trust falling into bushes
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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