grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
