We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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