I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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