Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize