I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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