Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
