I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
