Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?

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(773): View more from Illinois

How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?

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(516): View more from New York

making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.

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(954): View more from Florida

The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that

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(804): View more from Virginia

I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants

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