Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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