Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
