On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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