I should be sponsored by Trojan
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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