i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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