I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
