i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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