This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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