when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
