Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
