Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
