I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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