I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
