you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
