Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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