hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
