I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am mentally ready for anal.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
