Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just took my morning after pill in the library
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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