You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
