things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
