Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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