dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
