she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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