she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
