just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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