You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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