I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
