oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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