This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
