How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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