I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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