i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
kristin has been a bad kristin
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
