I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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