Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
