Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Crop dusting thru forever 21
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
